I
would like to thank my friend Siva, who asked-“Don’t you write any blog
nowadays?” I think those words inspired me to write this post.
Communication
is one big thing when it comes to banking. I am posting a few instances that
relates with communication. I may have shared the same on previous posts or
Facebook. Sorry for the repetition. After all I have to fill this post with
some shit.
Instance number
one: Father and Son showed the balls to me
This
happened during one IPL season in which Kochi team did the debut (and I think
that’s the only season they played). One NRI customer wanted to get tickets for
the match and asked if it was available at our branch. And on disappointing him
he told he’ll get it from their sponsoring bank in which he’s having another
account. Next week he returned with his son and told us in ‘pure English’-“Hey!
I got the tickets and have watched the match live at the stadium too. And guess
what! I and Vinu (his son’s name!) got our balls signed by cricketers!”
“You
got signature on what?” I asked.
The
customer repeated the sentence and I could find that he was telling the truth
and he and his son showed their balls to me. They really look soft and
moreover, cool with the signature on them. I mean the fluorescent yellow tennis
balls which they use to play cricket indoors! I had no other option but to
laugh my heart out and couldn’t control it.
Instance number
two: Banks should act as network providers
One day, a lady (A girl) approached me
in the bank. She was one of the bank customers.
"Yes madam! How may I help you?" There came a clichéd dialogue from my mouth.
"Sir! Your people have misled me by giving wrong information while opening the account!"
"Oh! May I know how madam? Let me see if we could rectify!"
"Sir, I was told that the SMS service is free, if I maintain Rs.1000.00 balance in the account which was opened under a special scheme! But I am being charged for the same!"
I took her passbook and had it updated. I scanned the entries to see if any charges have been debited.
There were no entries for any charges collected from her account. I told-"Madam, I am sorry, you are not being charged for the SMS service madam."
"Do you think I am a liar?" She shouted...
"No madam, I never said so. But I assure you no charges are being taken from you." I replied with a smile.
Now she was really furious and she quickly opened her bag while her red eyes kept cooking me.
"Oh God! Hope it is not a gun!" I thought. And I was wondering if anyone could open a bag so quickly.
She took her mobile, tapped a few buttons and her phone beeped along with a vibration.
She showed a message-"Last call cost-Rs.1.50 and blah blah blah"
"See! My messages are getting charged! And you allege me of telling lies! My parents never grew me like that!"
"Madam, which is your phone connection?" I asked.
"Beg your pardon!" She frowned.
"Madam! Who is your network provider?" I asked.
"How does that bother you?" She screamed.
"Madam you may be getting SMS alerts while you withdraw money from ATM, or even when you deposit money at bank right? That was the SMS service we referred to."
"So, the SMS I send for my personal uses will be charged?" She began to realise where the conversation was heading to.
"Yes madam! You need to contact your network provider to activate SMS pack. We are not offering any free services for personal mobile SMS-ing" I told her.
"So you should clearly convey the messages to customers, right? I was totally misled!"
"I am sorry if we didn't communicate the message well madam" I apologised.
"Okay. Thank you making it clear" and she almost ran out of the branch premises.
I was holding my laugh till that time and burst out laughing after she left.
"Yes madam! How may I help you?" There came a clichéd dialogue from my mouth.
"Sir! Your people have misled me by giving wrong information while opening the account!"
"Oh! May I know how madam? Let me see if we could rectify!"
"Sir, I was told that the SMS service is free, if I maintain Rs.1000.00 balance in the account which was opened under a special scheme! But I am being charged for the same!"
I took her passbook and had it updated. I scanned the entries to see if any charges have been debited.
There were no entries for any charges collected from her account. I told-"Madam, I am sorry, you are not being charged for the SMS service madam."
"Do you think I am a liar?" She shouted...
"No madam, I never said so. But I assure you no charges are being taken from you." I replied with a smile.
Now she was really furious and she quickly opened her bag while her red eyes kept cooking me.
"Oh God! Hope it is not a gun!" I thought. And I was wondering if anyone could open a bag so quickly.
She took her mobile, tapped a few buttons and her phone beeped along with a vibration.
She showed a message-"Last call cost-Rs.1.50 and blah blah blah"
"See! My messages are getting charged! And you allege me of telling lies! My parents never grew me like that!"
"Madam, which is your phone connection?" I asked.
"Beg your pardon!" She frowned.
"Madam! Who is your network provider?" I asked.
"How does that bother you?" She screamed.
"Madam you may be getting SMS alerts while you withdraw money from ATM, or even when you deposit money at bank right? That was the SMS service we referred to."
"So, the SMS I send for my personal uses will be charged?" She began to realise where the conversation was heading to.
"Yes madam! You need to contact your network provider to activate SMS pack. We are not offering any free services for personal mobile SMS-ing" I told her.
"So you should clearly convey the messages to customers, right? I was totally misled!"
"I am sorry if we didn't communicate the message well madam" I apologised.
"Okay. Thank you making it clear" and she almost ran out of the branch premises.
I was holding my laugh till that time and burst out laughing after she left.
Words do matter
in this fast techno world. Else situations may arise.
Instance number
three: Update your passbook frequently
“Sir! May I come in?” a sixty year old
man took my attention to him.
“Yes sir! Please come!” I said.
“Sir, I have a doubt!” he kept his
passbook in front of me, on my table.
I took it and just had a glance. “Please
continue sir!” I looked at him.
“Sir! My account balance is getting
reduced. I don’t know how. I put Rs. 5000 last month and now the balance is
below 1000. You are charging for minimum balance too. I have not withdrawn any
money.” His face was blue.
“Sir, after putting 5000 you have
withdrawn money through ATM from various places in Coimbatore!” I looked at him
in a questioning way. I was hoping him to shout, yelling at me-“I have not
applied for any ATM card! I want my money back!” But surprisingly it didn’t
happen.
“Yes sir, my grandson is using it.” He
told with same facial expression he had earlier. He continued sitting there
“Okay, so your problem is solved right?
It is your grandson who is taking money from your account?” I asked him. I was
relieved that he understood.
“I understand that he is taking money at
Coimbatore, but how does that get reduced from my account. It should get
reduced from the card right? Also, he is taking it at Coimbatore, which is 60
KM from here, how does that get deducted here?” He almost spat on me.
I started talking to myself in my mind
Negative side- “Man! You are in deep
trouble! How are you going to make him understand? It is better you resign if
you can’t convince him!”
Positive
side – “No way! Damagers do that! Not managers! You can’t quit”
“Sir,
if you use cheque or a withdrawal slip, the amount will be reduced from your
account right? Similarly, ATM card is an electro-magnetic thing which helps you
withdraw money from your account. Instead of cashier, it is the machine that
gives you money.”
The
conversation lasted for around 20 minutes. Thank god, I was able to convince
him to an extent. He slowly left the cabin, still looking at the balance of his
account in the passbook.
It is always better to update your passbook once in
a month.
Instance number four:
Be careful while choosing your house
“Knock
knock!” I took my cell phone and saw that it was 8.30 PM.
I
opened the door and was surprised that 3 men jumped inside and pulled me out on
to the street.
“What
is the matter? Who are you people?” I asked
“Because
of you, my father lost around 60,000 rupees.” One of them told
“What?
How?” It was vague.
“You
asked my dad to put money in some scheme and he lost half of it.”
“1,20,000
turned to 60,000”; I made a mental calculation.
“He
put 70,000 and it is now 40,000”. He
told
“Man,
there is some arithmetic problem. You lost almost half, that is right, but
60,000 is not the half of 70,000? You lost only 30,000! How? Also, which is the
scheme I asked him to invest?” My mind was making calculation and also was
still wondering what these people were talking about.
“Are
you sure, you are talking to the right person?” I asked.
“You
work for the bank right?” One of them
asked.
“Yes
I do! But you can’t come to my house and behave like this! Calm down!” I was
furious.
“See,
I won’t be able to come to your office. I am working in a spinning mill. I don’t get
leave or permission to come to bank. You asked my dad to put in mutual funds.
Had he put the same in fixed deposit, the amount would have been 1,00,000 by
now. But, the return is only 40,000. Can you see the difference of
Rs.60,000/-?” he asked.
“There
you go! Now the arithmetic is right. If you calculate the interest, along with
the principle, he has lost half the amount! These people were really good at
calculations” My mind was relieved that one of my questions was answered. But
still, one big issue was pending.
“Guys!
I have talked to many people about investments in mutual funds, insurance funds
and corpus funds, but none has invested after my joining. If it happened
earlier, I need to check the files.” I told them.
“Okay
Mr. Arunachalam! We shall come to the bank tomorrow.” He told.
“Mr.
Who?” I asked.
“Hmmm?”
He looked at me.
“No,
what was the name you called me?” I asked
“Ar-una-chal-am”
He stuttered
“There
you go! I am Subramanian! Not Arunachalam!”
“You work for the “so and so” bank right?”
“No!
I work for South Indian Bank!”
“So
why did you tell you work there?”
“When
did I tell that? You asked me if I work for the bank and I said yes! You never
mentioned the bank’s name!” I told
“Oh
God! Sir! We are really sorry! Please don’t make it an issue.” He told.
“Who
told you I am Arunachalam?” I asked.
“We
were told that he lives here.” One of them replied.
“No
way!” I was staring at them in disbelief. This must be one of the prank
programs like candid camera thing in television or something.
On
enquiry with the neighbour we understood that Mr, Arunachalam used to live
there before I occupied the house. Thank God, the incident didn’t end me up in
the hospital. It was a great relief,
Always mention the firm’s name every now and then,
when the conversation is official