Ego

Last day I happened to read a few paragraphs on investments and various patterns of investments. In spite of being a banker, I never understood a word out of it. It was Greek, Latin and every other possible and impossible foreign language for me. It was hard to understand and it was hard for my conscience to digest that I wasn’t able to pick a word out of it. Moreover it hurt my ego. My mind travelled 20 years back, which went in quick succession.

There was a boy sitting in the mathematics class of his third standard. It was a classroom, a mere annexe, near the library room, which was part of an old building, the rights of which were transferred from the royal kingdom of Kochi. He was there trying to grasp the long division method. It was the method of deriving out the quotient and reminder from the dividend and the divisor. After the moment, teacher left the class; it was all blank for him. He was there gaping in awe. He was not sure whether he would be able to understand the method ever. He asked his friend sitting near him whether the class made sense. The friend replied with a smile-“You are one, who manages to come among top three in the class tests.”  However, he tried his best to explain the method to that boy. The boy tried concentrating. But, he was unable to concentrate because, he was brilliant and he was taking tuition from a moderate student who manages not to fail in the class tests. His eyes filled with tears. He was angry on self. It was the ego that was burning inside him.

I was there in the same shoes as the boy, empathizing with him, teeming with anger. In spite of being good at grasping things, not knowing even after trying to understand something hurts.